Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome to The Woman Is Free Podcast. This podcast is based on the idea that every woman is born free and she should be mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally free. So today I have a really good tree. I'm joined by Amelia Buxton, who travels the world and works from anywhere. Hi, Amelia, how are you?
Speaker 1 00:00:21 Hello. I'm good. How are you doing?
Speaker 0 00:00:23 I'm good, thank you. So you literally, I mean, I know for so many people traveling the world and working from anywhere is literally the dream. I mean, just tell us a bit about yourself. Like what do you do and, you know, how many countries have you worked in?
Speaker 1 00:00:40 Yeah, so what I do, I've become a lot better at saying this sometimes. I went through a few years throughout, like doing my work recently where I was like, oh, well I do this and a bit of this. But I essentially offer marketing ops and ops, support, guidance, strategy, creativity for entrepreneurs in the online space. And, and they're specifically coaches, healers, practitioners, visionaries, um, and my, my true love is systemizing, launching, creating all of those things. And I really love that work because I am also the student as well as being the person that's contributing to the work. So it adds an extra layer of commitment and love for what I do. So I've been doing that now full-time for about four years. God, I have no, whenever you think of Covid, for example, you're like, does Covid count as a year? It,
Speaker 0 00:01:34 It's all a blur really. You're like, you're like, why 2019 was four years ago? How, like, how <laugh>?
Speaker 1 00:01:41 Yeah. And then with regards to how many countries I've been to, hmm. To be honest, I'm a slow traveler. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I would say I've spent full-time traveling, but in terms of countries I've been to, off the top of my head, I would wanna say like five. So it all started in Bali and then I've been to Mexico, the states, Costa Rica, parts of Europe as well. But I spend a lot of time in different parts of those places. That's just the way that I enjoy traveling.
Speaker 0 00:02:14 So rather than like going around to lots of different countries, you're like, I'm gonna stay here and sort of like get a sense of it.
Speaker 1 00:02:21 Yeah. It's much better for my nervous system to be able to like that. That was one thing when I first started doing this, I thought the way to do it would be bobbing around to loads of different places, just like normal travelers do. But I very quickly realized that my nervous system needs a little while to settle into a new place in a completely new environment and the culture and the people and what I like and don't like. So I tend to stay somewhere for at least a month. I like to aim for, and obviously longer if I, if I enjoy it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Speaker 0 00:02:55 Yeah, because on that, I mean, how long does it take? Because I, I mean, I moved to, from the UK the end of November, and I look back and like the first probably two or three months, I was literally, it was just like, and when I look back it's almost like incomplete days and you're kind of like, you know, everything's new and it's like really overwhelming. And it was probably took like about almost three months. I feel like, for me to sort of be settled and feel more grounded. Like how, how long does it take you? Is it something that's like got, has it got kind of like, you know, shorter the more you've done it? Or does it still kind of take a, take a while to get settled?
Speaker 1 00:03:31 Honestly, it depends on the place. There's definitely a feeling that I have trained myself to understand. So for example, I'm trying to think of where somewhere has felt off as opposed to mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Okay. Funnily enough. So when I first went to Costa Rica in 2021, I had, I was supposed to be there for five weeks and I love Costa Rica. There's many like amazing memories there. But I had a thought that I was gonna be there for like two months or so, and then for some reason I just felt in my body something just wasn't right. Like things weren't quite falling into place and thing. And I'm all for the struggle and working through the struggle, but it was more like, no, this is, this is resistance to pay attention to rather than resistance to just work through. So after that I was like, okay, okay, where else am I thinking of going this summer? And I was like, I've been thinking of going to Mexico the moment that I went on Airbnb to find somewhere in Mexico. My, one of my dreams is to have a roof terrace, like in my future home. Yeah. The first place that I saw that was within budget had a roof terrace, <laugh>,
Speaker 0 00:04:40 And,
Speaker 1 00:04:41 And like literally the, the owner of that Airbnb were now, so he's like an uncle to me. He's my Spanish teacher, my friend. All of these things. And, and everything just unfolded perfectly. And the moment that I got onto Mexican soil, it just felt useful and everything felt smooth and like it was working for me rather than against me.
Speaker 0 00:05:04 I love that. And I, I do definitely feel like it's, I mean, I always used to have it where I'd only have holiday romances, so I'd be, I'd be in London and it was, I'd gone on on these dates and it's just like not working, like everything's just going wrong and wrong. And then the second I went on holiday <laugh> and it, it is just like when you become aware that, you know, there's something maybe I mean on that because how much does where you are like the place you're in have on your state of freedom. Because on this you might find, you know, I think with freedom we talk a lot about like trauma and things like that and, you know, it's a lot of like, you know, change things within yourself. But then the other side of it is if you're in an environment where you feel trapped, and I know, you know, some people, well, for example, I've heard of, you know, I spoke to a friend who she felt trapped in London and then she moved to another country and things were still the same and she still felt trapped there and stuff like that.
Speaker 0 00:06:00 I mean, how much have you found that your environment has on how free you feel?
Speaker 1 00:06:05 Oh my gosh, it's so funny you're saying this. Cause I wrote about this in my journal, this Oh really?
Speaker 0 00:06:10 <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:06:10 And I spoke, so many went
Speaker 0 00:06:11 Psychic moments at the moment. I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1 00:06:14 I know, I know. And I was speaking with my sister about it the other day on how April, for example, I just spent in ERISA in Portugal. And that I, it was one of the most nourishing, beautiful months with regards to creative evolution in just my health and my wellbeing. And it's my environment. There was 10 minutes from the ocean being able to watch the sunset every night, a patio which overlooked a massive garden in the guest house. I was staying at a pool, you know, all of these things were like, the air was clear and you fall asleep to the sound of waves and it makes a fucking difference. It really does. When, when you wake up and you see like a clear sky, or even if it rains in the evening and it's peaceful and it's nice and it has a huge impact on, on me. I, I definitely think that, you know, I'm fortunate to be in a position where I will pay more. I will invest more money in a place to stay if it means that the environment is gonna be something that's suitable for my, my growth. And always definitely it's a huge, huge factor for me.
Speaker 0 00:07:28 It's, it's like when you are, you know, I remember in London like setting the alarm for 5:00 AM every morning and being like, I'm gonna meditate and journal and do breath work and yoga and everything. And it was like all this stuff that, you know, made me feel free. But then it's so hard if you're in an environment that is very busy and you've got very busy schedule, you are always like constantly fighting against the grain. Do you know what I mean? You're always like fighting, you having to get up at even like doing stuff that makes you feel free, like dance or yoga or whatever it is. It's like you're having to really fight to have the time for that. And it's, it does feel like a constant wise, you know, it's like you, when you go on a holiday or you leave things like that. I know holiday's different from working from anywhere, but it's automatically you are relaxed and there's not a schedule and you're not like every minute of the day doing yoga or breath work or journaling, but it kind of happens naturally. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 00:08:16 It's so true. It's so when you're just saying how, when you have to fight for the freedom, that's, that's kind of the place you don't wanna be in. Obviously there's the circumstances where it's good to fight for freedom <laugh>, but in terms of like the day-to-day waking up and wanting to just go to work or wanting to just do your morning practices, fighting for those essential things, that should just be, you should just be able to roll into it has, it has such an impact. Absolutely.
Speaker 0 00:08:43 And I'm interested to know on how you got here. So starting off, I mean, I know you are from the UK and you're in the UK at the moment. Um, when did you decide, like when did it first enter your mind? Like, I want to work from anywhere?
Speaker 1 00:08:59 Yeah. Ooh, I like, this is fun cause I've not reflected on this for a while. So I went to Bali for the first time, which I know if someone's listening, they're like, oh, of course it was Bali <laugh>. But seriously guys, it's, it's where it begins <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:09:12 You gotta, sometimes you just gotta accept you're cliche. I did that in yoga the other day. I was just like, I'm a cliche and I'm owning it. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:09:19 Yeah. It's like I'm a cliche and look where I am now. Exactly. I'm happy, you know, <laugh>. So I went to Bali in 2018 and at the time I was working in hospitality back home mm-hmm. In a marketing and sales. And I went to Bali for I think five weeks. And I was just, and I, I, it was the first time I'd been exposed to like the digital Noman thing, people working in these gorgeous spaces and in these cafes. And everyone had tons and everyone smelt great and <laugh>, I was
Speaker 0 00:09:45 Like,
Speaker 1 00:09:46 Wow, what is this life that I am completely unaware of? That's possible. So after I came home from that, that really lit a fire like, wow, I, I wanna do that. That's what I wanna do. I've always had this feeling of, you know, I'm incredibly close to my family and I love, I love the moments that I am home. Like right now, for example, however, I just knew that within me, this isn't where I'm gonna be. I'm not gonna be in the uk. It's not really my, my base, my landing spot. So seeing that and seeing what was possible and that these people were actually happy and not having to hustle, I was like, wow, okay, I want that. So came back home and then throughout the year I worked towards starting to work with holistic wellness businesses. So I worked with my sister in marketing because she ran a yoga studio and she was also a coach at the time.
Speaker 1 00:10:37 And I started putting the feelers out there to see if there were any other people to work with. Went to Bali again in 2019 and that's when I had started going air quote a bit more, I wouldn't say full-time because I wasn't getting full-time worker income. Mm-hmm. However, I didn't have a job and I had a few and I had some clients and I had some saving money. So I was like, I'm just gonna go and see what happens. That was a great experience. Came back, decided to go full-time with it. And then Covid hit <laugh> and
Speaker 0 00:11:08 <laugh>. I just went self-employed at the beginning of 2020 as well. So I, yeah, I I La
Speaker 1 00:11:14 <laugh>, which is funny cause it's like 20 22 0 2, oh they, this is the time to like do it all. And obviously because it was a new business and all of that, there was no financial aid or anything. And I had some clients which were amazing and I'm so appreciative to them for keeping me on. But in terms of an abundance of stable income, it wasn't there. I was very fortunate to be staying with my family at the time and I did not, I had a very fortunate experience as opposed to some during that time. So I don't complain about it. But then I saw online that a coach and an author and entrepreneur leader that I had been following for a few years was gonna be hiring for an executive assistant. And you know her Sophia, because you and I both met on her retreat in 2021. And so I have been, uh, I went for the job, I be out like 200 people and I have just grown, grown with her and with her company up until up until now. So, and obviously yeah, since 2021, that's when I was actually doing the phys. Once the boards opened even, even a little bit, that is when I started doing the full-time travel aspect of this work and working remotely and supporting a visionary and now being able to support more people too.
Speaker 0 00:12:35 And I'm just so interested to know the blog. Cause it's funny you said about starting again of Covid because I did, I went self-employed, I was doing events, I was presenting in-person events, um, which was all going very well until March <laugh> and then everything. And you know, I do remember, like you said, that it was at the time if you work for someone else, you got furloughed and that kind of came out and then I was like, what's the option for self-employed people? And I, I literally, I remember really clearly, um, like being on the phone to Universal Credit at the end of Covid and I was renting a place in London and you're in this queue for hours and just like, wow, that absolute fear. And you know, I think that's the, this, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Um, but when, you know, people stay in situa, you know, why do we stay in situations that make us feel trapped?
Speaker 0 00:13:25 Right. You know what I mean? Like why, why? And then I thi I'd think about it and I'm like, it's probably security and comfort and you know, if I go off and you know, travel anywhere or if I have my own thing, it's the fear around that. Um, it can be a very real fear. You know, a lot of people like security and basic needs is maybe, I dunno that I forget the hierarch needs, but I remember that being pretty high up. I mean, did you kind of have any blocks before kind of doing this? Um, was, you know, was there anything that came up and sort of, how did you overcome it?
Speaker 1 00:13:59 You know, honestly, as I said, most people would probably assume that Covid was the real hitter with things. But I was very fortunate to not really have a difficult experience during that. I kept some clients, I got a dream job. Yes. And I was at the time needing to pay rent. So I was with my parents. There was a lot of love in this house. So in terms of getting myself up and running, I just felt like I was experiencing the groups of my labor with things like coming, coming through when it came to traveling itself again, obviously it was a bit more difficult because so many people would tell me for various reasons that it would be difficult to travel and, but honestly 2021 was probably one of the most memorable fun years of my life so far. Mm-hmm. I think, and when it came to like overcoming obstacles, there was definitely, I had had rose tinted glasses on since I started traveling in like 2017.
Speaker 1 00:15:03 Mm-hmm. Because I had never really, you know, you have sticky situations, but I'd never had a bad experience. But there was one experience coming back into the US in 2021, which I won't go into too much, but there was a situation with immigration that was clearly led by bias and prejudice, which on reflection I've realized now. And that was something that kind of knocked me where I was like, whew, okay, if I'm gonna have, it's, it's good that this happened because when you do have a life of remote work and travel, it's wonderful and I would never change it for the world. But there are definitely things that you should be aware of and making sure you know what your rights are and know what you can and can't do, knowing what your limits are personally as well. So I have had, I think being able to have a support system regardless of if it's direct family or close friends, being able to have people who you can tune into when you do hit blocks because there have been challenges of course, but knowing that there are people there who you can talk through to it.
Speaker 1 00:16:10 Because me, I'm an introvert and I, so it's like alone but not lonely. I love my own company, but it does mean that when I do hip hurt certain issues of like, oh shit, like I'm doing, I'm dealing with this by myself. Like should I just go home? Should I just fly home? Should I just pack it all in? So I think it's more about having the structures behind you to support you whenever those obstacles come up because they're gonna be different for everyone.
Speaker 0 00:16:38 I lo I love that. And I think when we think about the digital sort of nomad life, we do pitch achieve ourselves as someone else like by yourself in a coffee shop. And it's all kind of, you know, by yourself. And I know having been in Australia, it's actually made me more, if I've had difficult moments, like I'm like communities, every people are everything. Like I, I get it now. Like people, I guess in your home country, you means to take it for granted cuz there's always people, like, there's just always people around in your, you know, everyone. And then I think when you're alone, um, you are like, actually it's so incredible that I have someone that I can ring up and, you know, talk to who actually cares and things like that. I mean, was that, was that something you, you always quite good at or it sounds like, was that like a lesson for you that you kind of learned along the way?
Speaker 1 00:17:25 Yeah, I think so. Two instances, I was having a really tough time. I was having a really tough time last year when I was in Mexico. There was some things going on. And for a while I tried to like, because anyone who has a close relationship with their family or their chosen family, whoever it is, will know that when you have certain things come up, you don't wanna, you don't wanna burden them. Especially when they're em empath, empathetic, empathic, oh my gosh, what's the word? When they hold a lot of empathy. <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:17:57 Empathetic. It's yeah, empathetic. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:17:59 Yeah. And then also you tell yourself like, you know, you're having a, you've got a good life, so there's no point in telling them. So I held stuff in for a really long time, but then eventually like your, like my nervous system, my anxiety came up, which hasn't come up in years. And I was like, oh shit. Like I should, I, I need to talk to someone. I need to like let someone know and I need to make sure that I don't keep anything like this in again. So that was instance number one and it was, it worked itself out and it was, it was great. Instance number two was very recently in March, just the day that I arrived to Arisa, we got a call to say that my 22 year old cousin Alisa in New Jersey had been taken to hospital very randomly and out of nowhere she was a healthy young woman.
Speaker 1 00:18:45 And then a week later she passed away. Wow. And I was like, and that's the first tragedy that my, yeah. That I have, that I have lived through as an adult. And it was a tragedy. It was like, whoa, where did this come from? And that was a big solidifier of how much I value even just the five people I can name on my hand that classes my community, the people who, I've got one friend Daniel, who's from Australia, lives in Australia, who I, we speak to maybe like once every quarter, but I know for sure and I knew for sure in this instance I'm gonna message him and tell him this and I know he will be there and he was mm-hmm. And the same with like my friend in Los Angeles and the friends in Mexico. And that, that was definitely like when you, it's such a good feeling to know that when you need your people Yeah. They're gonna be there. And especially when you're traveling, it's very easy to fall into a pattern of just developing fleeting friendships because everyone's
Speaker 0 00:19:47 Gonna see each other
Speaker 1 00:19:47 For a little while. Yeah. And so it's really difficult to actually hold to in this lifestyle to feel like you have community because they're pass, they're passing by. But it is something that's super important. Like even if you're an introvert extrovert, to have those people in your life that you can rely on and not just have the fleeting friendships coming through.
Speaker 0 00:20:11 It's really, yeah. So there's so much that's interest in that. And I think, I find it works, it's one of the things when you have a family tragedy because you know, my, I've got a brother died of cancer last year at like 38. Um, I think it was 37 we found out. And it's just things like that really, I think there's two things I found is a, they really make you realize like you're not gonna live forever. So that's part of the reason almost why I actually left. Cuz I was like, I'm moaning about London all the time and I'm just living my life being like, I hate the truth I hate. And then it was like, oh crap, like tra people die young, it can happen. Like it's not a set thing and that kind of makes you almost want to live more. But then the other thing is you are like, also I love my family <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:20:59 You know, it makes you, it's a weird thing, isn't it? Because in some ways it kind of like makes you more keen to see the world and travel and like live your, for this life. And then the other side's like, it makes you value them things more. And I think it's interesting, I think if I'd gone traveling or moved from 21, I would've just been like, see your parents like jumped on the plane, not like, even looked around and said goodbye. And I think when you have these life experiences, it makes you realize that it's not like just a lighthearted thing. Do you know what I mean? It makes you realize like the the real like deep connections of this. Um, yeah. Yeah. But I think that definitely I was, what was the thing to say on that? There was something, sorry, what was the last thing you said? You said something at the end of that. I'm just having a
Speaker 1 00:21:42 Leading friendships.
Speaker 0 00:21:44 That's it. Yeah. I, it's so interesting you say that because especially like a lot of the time with the traveling, it's like you go to hostels and it's this weird thing where someone's your best friend for like a week. If you, if you do that, it's like you're, you're all like you're with each other. I've had this a few times, like you're going, you know, spending all day to with each other and you know, especially if it's quite that party culture. Like people going out and you are going out together and you are best friends and then you say goodbye and you're never gonna see that person again. And it's really weird cuz you're like, I just got close. Like how did you, how did you get out of that kind of like shallow friendships maybe, or not shallow, but you know, very short-lived to actually kind of making these sounds like sort of lifelong friends.
Speaker 1 00:22:35 Yeah, it's kind of difficult because the, the closest friends that I have through that they, we've, we've stayed connected for very different reasons. So there's one friend who it always helps when that person is probably gonna be wanting to go to where you're going next or is already there. Mm-hmm. So like one friend who I met in Mexico City, she was based in, well she was based in Mexico City, but she was living in LA and I was gonna be going to LA afterwards and then she invited me to her parents' house, house in Arizona and we just, we continued on. Another dear friend of mine, Cynthia, who you know as well, we met in LA but obviously we worked together. Yeah. So we were gonna see each other again. So I think it's when you, when you really click with someone, you know, when you've really clicked with someone.
Speaker 1 00:23:23 Mm-hmm. And it's also, it's kind of like trying to consciously declare to that person we, we are gonna see each other again and I'm gonna stay in touch with you. You know, I've definitely had friends, a couple of friends in the past who I've said that to and I've kept up with it and I've messaged and then they don't reply. And it's like, okay, well we weren't, we weren't supposed to be close, but it's on, it's on you to identify those special connections and regardless of what they're gonna turn out to be, take it upon yourself and take responsibility for at least trying. Cuz I know that I, like, I was bullied through high school and it took me a really, really long time to even open myself up to any kind of deep friendship Yeah. In
Speaker 0 00:24:06 French at all. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:24:07 And so it's even harder for, it was even harder for me to step forward and be like, I'm gonna take responsibility for us continuing friends friendship. Mm-hmm. People say that about any, any relationship. Like it's, it's hard work and it's, it's work of like both of you and especially when you're traveling, you can't just bump into each other every day. It's like, what are you gonna do to, to make sure that you're gonna stay connected with this person? Obviously not forcing it and being able to use your own discernment of what is what does and doesn't feel. Right. But I definitely feel that I've empowered myself to be in a place of, like, I was, I was joking about this the other week cuz when I was in Portugal when I was saying, you know, everybody says we'll meet up again in the future. But, but seriously if, if you mean it, like I, I'm gonna come, like if you, if you tell me now welcome come to my place in Copenhagen, then I'm coming to Copenhagen.
Speaker 0 00:24:59 So don't say that. Where, where Yeah. What's the dress? Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:25:02 Literally. So I'm like, nowadays I kind of just say that upfront, like, don't say it if you don't mean it. <laugh>.
Speaker 0 00:25:09 Oh God, now I love that. And I'm interested because in what, you know, like this is called like women is born free and it's a lot of kind of like finding that freedom and you mentioned there, you know, being bullied at school and you know, I, it's things like that just like some of the worst experiences and it's, and often even, you know, a lot of the time we have this idea of ourselves that <laugh> that is from who we are at school and we're like, you know, we have all these like, you know, we got left out when we were like seven so we get this idea that like, I'm an outsider or something, you know, and it's, it is very great. I mean, did did you find, like, did you kind of let go of them? Um, I dunno if wounds or trauma is is the right word? You can maybe correct me on that, but did you kind of like let go of them in before you left? Or was that, you know, did it help you kind of get them deeper connections from leaving the environment you grew up in?
Speaker 1 00:26:04 Yeah, that's a good question. I would say in terms of the actual trauma that the memories had left on me mm-hmm. They had dissipated over time in terms of the way I was showing up with other friends as a byproduct of those experiences. And that is something that just slowly began to heal itself. The more that I traveled and the more, yeah. Like tra to me travel is the best healer of the vast majority of my, my particular struggles, like my anxiety, I had debilitating anxiety and it's only been maybe twice I had anxiety from maybe 15 until 22.
Speaker 0 00:26:51 Wow. Or 23.
Speaker 1 00:26:53 And it's only been maybe twice in the past few years that I've felt it come up. And I know for a fact that the reason that has dissipated is because of the personal development work. I've done a huge portion of that being through travel mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I think especially with travel, what I love is that you can just be yourself and it's not be where you wanna be, but it's like just be yourself and without any of the stories that anybody knows that are attached to you without anybody wondering like, oh, is she, is she the girl that, that like did this or everyone said this? Mm. No one gives a fuck because everyone's out there just doing their own thing and connecting with people that accept them fully as themselves. So, um, over, over that course of time, it's definitely given me a chance to look back on my experiences in high school and be like, thank god that happened. Honestly. Like, thank god that happened and that I, I went through it and I broke free from it and it gave me an opportunity to work hard how I can show up as a better friend and a more active communicator with people.
Speaker 0 00:28:02 I love that. And I think it's so interesting you said it was almost that distance because I think it's y you know, I grew up in a small town on the seaside and <laugh> people, you know, if you met, you know, people would be still be bringing up people, things people did when they were like 12 or 13 <laugh> and you're like, we're like nearly 30 <laugh>. Do, do you know what I mean? And it's like we've all, all of us have done things, you know, you know, I, I suffer, I had a lot of anxiety as well as teen early twenties and one of my ways was I would drink a lot and it was like a kind of, you know, very British, but it, it's like drinkings away and um, and you, you know, you have all this embarrassment and stuff around that, but then it's almost, I feel like when you stay in one place, these things stick with you. Like these iden, it's almost a bit like that. I dunno if redemption redemption's a bit of a heavy word maybe, but it's almost a bit like, you know, we've growning up when we're growing up. Like we make mistakes and it's all part of learning and stuff like that. So it's so interesting that you've sort of said that, um, you know, like, kind of like that slow kind of letting off of anxiety is really interesting.
Speaker 1 00:29:17 Yeah. And I think forgiveness has been,
Speaker 1 00:29:21 It's, it's funny when it comes to things around forgiveness. I, I don't know how to describe forgiveness. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I feel like in my, in my world though, being able to look back on that and be like, we were just kids. Yeah. We were just kids and you know, if I saw the, saw them in the street, I'd smile, ask them how they were mm-hmm. And move on because I am very happy in my life and I, I wish them nothing but love and wellness and I guess, and I dunno how that would describe forgiveness, but I just know that being in that position for the past few years and being a lot more like, it's cool, it's okay because look what we've been able to alchemize as a result. I think that has been a huge factor into being able to feel safe to proceed forward with other friendships.
Speaker 0 00:30:11 What in what way do you mean kind of feel safe in knowing you've let that go? Or
Speaker 1 00:30:16 Being able to feel safe to show up as myself to new people? Because I was always worried, like if I show people who I really am, then yeah, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be bullied for it because I was mm-hmm. I was bullied for my weirdness and <laugh> what, you know, my, my love for Disney, you know? Yes. All, all of these things I was, I was bullied. I was no
Speaker 0 00:30:39 Where that was a criminal offense. Where did you know?
Speaker 1 00:30:42 I know I was, I was bullied for being different, you know, all of the typical things that people are bullied for. But I know now that I feel a lot more safe being able to, when I meet people no longer feel like I have to do, I have to show them a, an edited version of myself first and then I'll show them the rest if we get closer. No, now it's like you get me full on immediately, there's no edit. Mm-hmm. And if they don't vibe with me, it's cool because I vibe with myself, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:31:13 It, it, it's so, it's, it's so interesting you, because I think it's that I remember being like eight or nine and dance, you know, it's school, did you ever have it where they put a song on and you just dance to it? It was a bit like ecstatic dance in pe so it was kind of like static dance, but like in a weird, and I remember like just letting go and like putting, you know, just pulling all these faces and just really going for it. And then I opened my eyes and like everyone in the room was looking at me and laughing. And I swear to God, Amelia, I didn't dance in front of people probably, probably for like 15 years. And I think it's that thing and I, but I think with stuff it's interesting that you can either, I feel like you can either be in that sort of, and in a completely non-judgmental way, someone who has done this be in that victim mindset of like, these bullies, they stopped me being myself. And, um, you know, which, and to be fair, when you're in that school environment, you literally can't leave. Right. <laugh> for, for
Speaker 1 00:32:07 Yeah. And there are such formidable years, it's such formidable years for us when we're younger. It's like, it's so easy to say, oh, I should have just ignored it. Or Oh, sh I wish, I wish I could tell like little Amelia, a little Sophia to keep on dancing. And it's like, you know what, we, we, I know my heart breaks with that. I just, I know sending love, sending love to little Sophia fuck <laugh>. And, and also had that not happened, would we still be the same versions of ourselves today? Mm-hmm. And it's, you know, I don't wanna spiritually bypass trauma or anything like that. Mm-hmm. This is just speaking on my experience, but had, and just seeing you cuz obviously we've been at a retreat together and seeing how free you are, like had that not happened when you were younger, would you have still showed up that freely and that wonderfully and would we be, would we be having this conversation today? You know,
Speaker 0 00:33:01 It, it's so true and it's, it's almost that um, you know, how much you can connect to love to and to kind of overcome them things and be like, you know, and I think, I think we are, we are very lucky. I think. Um, definitely, you know, I think where growing up in England and stuff like that is okay, you can be yourself and people might think you're weird and you might get nasty comments and things, but you are probably unlikely to be physically attacked or have your life at risk from being yourself. You know, you can wish, uh, you can get the social exclusion and stuff like that. Which patterns all are very real. But, you know, I know, um, you know, talking about women being free, um, you know, I worked with charity recently that helps women from Afghanistan and there's like, you know, a lot of women in world still face really physical, physical risks and it's just, yeah, it's not, and not to minimize anyone's experience at all, but it's just like, you know, you are, even if it feels very real, you're like, actually it's just people not liking me or you know, which of these things are real, like biologically speaking we're meant to be part of community.
Speaker 0 00:34:06 Right. And if we do think we're gonna be outcasts, it feels very real. Right?
Speaker 1 00:34:11 Yeah. Even today as an adult, if there's times when like, you know, I'm saying all of this about stepping into places fully and I do that, but definitely if you do, if you're feeling like, oh this, this room doesn't accept me yet and it's not so, so last week I was at a longboard camp. I was learning to longboard skateboard.
Speaker 0 00:34:31 Oh I love that
Speaker 1 00:34:33 <laugh>. And it was completely outta my comfort zone. The most active thing I've ever done in my life is like walk around a theme park. I don't do active stuff. So to do like seven days of intensive skating. And I walked into this environment and for the first, after the first day I did have a ping of like, Ooh, I think I'm too much for these people. Mm-hmm. But it wasn't like a, I'm too much so keep myself smaller. I was like, Ooh, why do I feel like this? And it's just because it was a completely new mix of people that I had ever bonded with before because it was a completely new thing. So yeah, it's interesting the more you develop your self-awareness around those types of things, what you'll notice, especially when you, when you do travel.
Speaker 0 00:35:14 Hmm. I was gonna ask, this is probably a bit more, um, actually no, I wanted to ask, cause obviously we've spoken a lot about challenges and overcoming and things like that. But I mean, what for you have been the biggest highs? Cuz there must have been moments where you are like, this is my life. Like this is incredible. Like what for you has been the biggest highs, which sounds like that's most of the time.
Speaker 1 00:35:37 Yeah. <laugh> I would say, I would definitely say the moments of feeling like things are falling into place, which means that I'm on my aligned path, so mm-hmm. <affirmative>, for example, that what I was telling you about when I got to Mexico and all of that fell into place, I was then moving on to LA and I was like, oh, everybody tells me LA's so expensive. I don't know what I'm gonna do or whatever. And I got in touch with a friend who, we hadn't spoken in about a year and a half, but we, we used to be quite close and she was just, she just showed up immediately fully for me saying like, I've got somewhere for you. It's my neighbor's place, it's down the way. And when I got to that place, me and the neighbor like me and um, her name was Michelle, we got along so, so well.
Speaker 1 00:36:20 And I was there for two months and she was away most of the time. So I got this like amazing duplex Los Angeles home for, I love that for like, maybe like six weeks out of the time I was there, I was by myself. I also got a pay rise during that time. So it went, those, those feelings of things falling into place where you're just like, oh my God, I'm doing it. I'm on the right path. That was amazing. I would say going to places that I wouldn't have expected to fall in love with. I went to Arizona and I had no context of what the desert would be like. I'd never been interested in the desert. And then I spent just a few days there with a friend and I had never felt so much peace and ease and so much like, Ooh, I need to come and live here for a little bit.
Speaker 1 00:37:06 This is a place. And those unexpected moments of it wasn't on the list, it wasn't on the plan whatsoever. I almost nearly didn't go because I thought it would be an effort. You know, these things where you're like, oh, will it be an effort? And it was so worth it, the retreats that I've worked on through my work, being able to see the women that we support and the environments that we're in like Costa Rica jungles or Mexico and being able to be like, holy crap, this is my, this is my work. Like speaking with the, speaking with these amazing women by a pool about their businesses and their dreams and visions and creative projects. Like, I'm sat here in a bikini getting a tan and I'm getting, I'm getting paid for it. This is my life. Oh, there's, it's just those, those feelings even as simple as waking up in the morning doing a workout outside Mm. And having the, the sun beating down and then afterwards you're just like, wow, I've, this is, this is great and I don't need, I haven't needed to be earning like six, seven multimillion dollar figures. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I've just needed to be earning well and using my money wisely. Being aware of my income, being aware of what I am willing to invest in, and then just letting it all come together.
Speaker 0 00:38:26 I love that. And that kind of touches my next thing. Cause you mentioned there about getting up and doing exercise and things like that and also being aware of your income. I mean, when you are traveling the world and you are like working by yourself and things like that, I'm guessing like you have to bring the structure and the discipline, right? It's like you, I'm sure structure your day. Um, you know, what, what does that look like to you? Was that something that, and does, was that, you know, how do you structure your day, I guess, for a start? And was that something that like came naturally or you know, how did you learn that?
Speaker 1 00:38:55 Yeah, I, I like this question cuz it is something I'm quite proud of. <laugh> I developed about like, I think it was maybe five years ago after working in hospitality, I always used to like go to bed around 2:00 AM and then wake up at 11. And then when I got out of hospitality and I wanted to make changes in my life, I was like, I want to be a morning person, not just 9:00 AM I wanna be like a, like a 6:00 AM person. And so I worked towards that and I'm now, I'm now proudly a 6:00 AM riser up and without, without an alarm as well. <laugh>. Wow.
Speaker 0 00:39:29 Oh my god. When you, when you said that, I was like without, that's incredible.
Speaker 1 00:39:33 Yeah, I know <laugh> and very recently I've been giving it a go with the 5:30 AM start. So I don't know, I just, mornings are so special to me. It really has a huge impact on how my day goes, how I like spend at least an hour in the morning. So what I do when I'm traveling, I give myself a bit of grace and I'm like, if I need to sleep and catch up, I'll do that for a few days. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But then typically I like to wake up at six, do journaling, breath work, meditation for the first 30 minutes. And then I'd like to do self-study for another 30 minutes. Whether it's a course that I've invested in or I've got a, I'm in a membership right now or just like a free offering that's online. I really enjoy doing that because I have like different goals and dreams to work towards and that's, that's kind of my pocket of time to do that.
Speaker 1 00:40:29 And then seven till eight, I will either do a Pilate's workout or go for a walk. Mm. So that's kind of like, I, I like to have at least two hours to do those things because it just means that when it comes to getting my laptop open, I'm like, let's fucking go. This is gonna be a great day. And also because after about four o'clock my, my brain is like trained to slow down <laugh>. Yeah. Because I think because if I'm waking up early in the morning, my mind's like, okay, now we relaxed. So I just, I do it all in the morning and then I like to be done by with my day by like one to four o'clock depending on the workload.
Speaker 0 00:41:08 I like that. Yeah. And then you, I guess, and then the evening's sort of free for you to like explore or, or I guess,
Speaker 1 00:41:16 Yeah, yeah. Like free to explore or try and find some kind of like ecstatic dance or women's circle or go for dinner. Like I love, I love just going for dinner and whether it be by myself or with friends, I'm just, you know, never, never underestimate the art of a good meal when you travel as opposed to constantly feeling like you have to do all the tours, all the si, all the sites, all the things.
Speaker 0 00:41:43 Hmm. And this is a bit of, I guess I don't know the word existential question, but like, I think if we say freedom because freedom's one of them where, you know, oh, it's funny when I say that all like in picture it's like, you know them stock images you see in Google where a person's like someone facing the sun with their arms out and it's like that. But I mean, what, what does freedom mean to you?
Speaker 1 00:42:09 Hmm. Freedom to me means embodying the feeling of not being tethered to the constructs, the belief systems, the lifestyles that were laid out for us. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So whether that be like what, what poor income versus a rich or like poor wealth versus rich wealth. It's like, you know, breaking free from that because I've definitely realized recently that obviously depending on your circumstance, I don't like to look at when I, when I look back on when my income wasn't what it is now, I'm like, I still did so much, I found so much to do. And I found because I was just like, okay, well this is how much I've got, so what am I gonna do with it in order to, in order to like move on and move further. So breaking free from that, like waking up and knowing that I get to do the work I do rather than I have to do the work I do.
Speaker 0 00:43:09 Mm.
Speaker 1 00:43:10 Breaking like feeling free from the idea that like there's always gonna be competition and that you're always gonna be in like competition with other people. Like, no, fuck, fuck that <laugh>, I don't like it. Community. And so all of those ways it's just like breaking free from whatever society told us was the way to live our lives. That that is the feeling of freedom to me being like, wow, I'm doing it. I'm doing it differently.
Speaker 0 00:43:38 Yeah. And I love that point about competition because there was reasoning something I've been thinking of where even actually going ahead with this podcast and I was like, oh, you know, is it the right thing? And I had this really clear, I woke up at 4:44 AM which is my angel number. And I had this, I know I had this really clear, intuitive thing and it was like, it's about having a shared vision and you actually like, the more you realize that, cuz like when you think, oh my God, it's just like you mentioned like these constructs and these things are laid out for us. And when you think it's just me fighting against these thousand year old constructs and things, it's so depressing and overwhelming. And then actually, but then when you actually realize like the world is changing and everyone's starting to be like, Hey, hang on a second and I don't really know if this is actually for me sort of thing. And it, it's, yeah, it, it's, you know, you realize a lot of people are actually going through the same thing and it's not about being the first person to do something or being the, you know, it's like actually all being part of that same movement.
Speaker 1 00:44:40 Definitely. And especially in the past few years when there's obviously been different restrictions and different things that you, that people say you have to do in order to do the things you wanna do. Mm-hmm. And I wa I was told for a while like, oh, well if you are, if you're wanting to do the travel thing, you wanting to remote work, then you're probably gonna have to like, you know, do these, these things in order to do it freely. And I was like, well I'll just, I can just make it happen. We'll, we'll we'll just see <laugh>, we'll just see, you know? Yeah. And rather than be like, I'm not gonna try, I'm like, well just see. And you know what? I've been doing it for nearly three years now and I've not had to give into certain things. Mm-hmm. And I'm, and I'm better for it and I'm happier for it. And it's all, it's all just about, I I see that as pupil's projections of their own. Yeah. Probably wishing that they could do it as well or wishing that they had it within themselves to do it. So I'm like, okay, you, you tell me all your fears, that's okay. I'm gonna go live and I'll, and I'll show you <laugh>, I'll show you how it's possible.
Speaker 0 00:45:42 <laugh>. I'll never forget, I used to go on holiday by myself a bit. So time I remember telling this one girl, she looked at me like I was clinically insane. I kid you not. And she was like, you travel alone. And just like, literally like the way it was like I had like said I eat young children or something. Like honestly it was just absolute like disgust and shock and I was like, what <laugh>? Um, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:46:07 I was reminded last, last summer actually. I had like my first, because you know, it always feels like you're on vacation when you, when you do mm-hmm. Get to do what I do. But I had my first like actual vacation and I decided to track myself into an all-inclusive in carbo in Mexico. Oh. And this all, you know, I haven't been to an all inclusive since I was maybe like four with the family mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I realized quickly, oh there's, there's like couples and families here. But the second day I met these, I met this like group of friends and then also various couples and families. And when they found out I was there alone, there was no sense of like, what you are here alone. But they were like, whoa, this is so cool. Like why are you here alone? And I realized that was one of my realizations of oh my gosh, yeah, this is a really unique, cool, amazing thing that I'm doing and that, and that I get to do. And not many people do that. And you get, youve, you get used to this lifestyle really quickly and sometimes you forget you're doing something very unique. Like you being on Australia, there really aren't a lot of people. It might seem like it because there's a huge expat community there,
Speaker 0 00:47:21 <laugh>. But like everywhere you'll
Speaker 1 00:47:23 Yeah. But you'll meet someone one day and they'll be like, wow, you moved all the way from a to Australia, from the uk. And it's like, wow. Yeah. I, we're living really boldly and freely and we need to celebrate ourselves for that.
Speaker 0 00:47:37 It is mad actually. And it's, it's, um, yeah, it's interesting because when you said, I remember speaking to Simon, I'm sure he wouldn't listen, you know, someone I dated ages ago and he, I said, what do you want to be? And he said, A pilot, but he worked in banking. And I was like, why don't you be a pilot? Why are you working in banking? And he was like, I need to earn enough money and then I can be a pilot. And it, you know, it's definitely like, I've definitely had looks like that before and it's so weird because I think, you know, we're like, I have to do this and then I have that. But then actually like any, anytime, like even moving to Australia, you know, like I mentioned like my brother passed away last year and I just, it was like I made this decision.
Speaker 0 00:48:13 I was like, I'm leaving the UK and I already started packing my stuff. I had no, like, I was still like there, I was still working. I didn't have any plans to leave the uk I didn't have any plane tickets, but I already started packing my stuff cuz I was like, I'm going, that's it. I'm going like, it's happening. And it, it's just so weird isn't it? Cuz it is like, you know, we think we need a certain amount of money or we need like to hit a certain stage and then we can have freedom. It's like, you know, we have to be at work and then we have freedom. And it's interesting when it's just like, well I'm gonna try, like, you know, I love when you said that like ii you know, I'll, I'll see. Um,
Speaker 1 00:48:46 Definitely.
Speaker 0 00:48:48 And just finally you mentioned about, you know, other people asking you things there. I mean, what advice would you have for anyone that is like, I really wanna work from anywhere? Like what advice would you have for them?
Speaker 1 00:49:02 My advice would be to work on your self-belief first. Definitely. Because what I tend to find is that whenever I speak to people about this, they're like, I would love to do that. And I'm like, okay. Like why don't you then, so, oh I know like, you know, like it's just, you know, they, they have many excuses, whether it's financial excuses, whether it's lifestyle, excuses and education, job, all of the things. And it's like if you, and, and it's a muscle that you have to, you have to exercise the muscle and I have to do it today. But the more I've been able to do this, the more I'm like, I just believe that that like, this is my life and I believe that I'm gonna live in Arizona one day and I believe I'm gonna live in Mexico for a little bit one day.
Speaker 1 00:49:49 And, and it just feels so grounded within me because mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I have bec and it all starts from there. You can't expect to push the needle or for things to unfold unless you are doing the inner work around it. It's not as simple as just, okay, I'm just gonna book this flight and I'm gonna go. It's because what might happen is you'll get to the place and you'll be like, oh shit, I should go back. Or like this, this was a mistake, this was a bad idea. <laugh>. So I think regardless of what, what potential self-doubt is, creeping in a self-doubt is natural. Natural. It's always gonna creep in. Mm-hmm. Unless you are saying louder, well it, I'm gonna do this and I can do this, I can do this because this is, this is my future, this is what my, my life is. I'm gonna claim it for myself. Unless you're doing that in a work, it's gonna be really difficult. Especially when you start hitting certain challenges. Cuz you will, cuz they're the challenges that shape you. Mm-hmm. But it's the inner work that helps you to push through that and really, and really start to see things unfold as well.
Speaker 0 00:50:58 Well that's everything. Thank you so much, Amelia, for coming on. Um, and yeah, re really inspiring. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 00:51:05 Thank you so much, Sophia. I appreciate you.
Speaker 0 00:51:08 Oh, I was gonna ask if anyone wants to, so you are doing, you've started doing a few projects, haven't you? I believe <laugh>, no say like And where can people find you? What are they and where can people find you?
Speaker 1 00:51:20 Yeah, so if you are a coach, Sheila Visionary, someone with big dreams, big vision, big ideas and you want some marketing op support, you can come and find me on at Amelia Bucks on Instagram. I'm also creating some projects to be an avenue for sharing more about living freely and moving through life with a creative heart. And it's all on the Instagram right now. That's where I hang out mostly. So I'll come and say hello.
Speaker 0 00:51:50 Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 00:51:52 Thank you.
